Thursday, May 15, 2014

The Gift of Being Present

I always come across angry FB posts about the war on body image. People going on rants, upset about fat mannequins or super thin models or overly photoshopped images, etc...

Here's the reason why I don't give a shit about any of those:

People go on and on about how those things give young people, particularly girls, a wrong sense of what society expects them to look like - ok, before I go on, let me clarify that I don't have daughters. I have a house full of boys and perhaps having a daughter or two might make me think differently (though I strongly doubt it) but I really feel that the key to all of this is to be present.

Yes, I find it quite simple.

I truly feel that amount of time I spend with my kids and how present I am in their lives has a much stronger impact on them than any overly photoshopped magazine image or super thin runway model.

It's a choice. I can run around Facebook "liking" pictures about how "real women" have curves ...which, by the way, I have fluctuated in weight and body types many times, I have been with and without curves, and both ways I felt quite real... or I can sit down to have real conversations with my children to tell them how incredibly unique and special they each are in their own way. And I can teach them healthy eating habits and encourage them to stay active and invite them to join me on my jogs and workouts.

When my boys come across ads and commercials with seemingly "perfect" looking people, they will know that their mother thinks they are beautiful people inside and out. They get their "body image" from ME. They get their confidence and self-worth from ME. Not from TV ads or FB memes. The world is ALWAYS going to be full of crap and bullshit and people looking for tiny, weak-minded souls to prey on. There's nothing I can do about that, but I CAN raise strong, smart, productive children. *I* am raising these kids, NOT the world.

One day they will grow up and choose their own paths. Right now their hearts and minds belong to ME. I work hard every day to shape them into decent, kind, healthy human beings. I go to sleep emotionally and physically drained every night, knowing that every word that came out of my mouth today is going to affect who they are tomorrow. Of course some days are better than others. I am human, after all. I mess up. Some days I feel like I don't know what I am doing, but they go to bed every night knowing their mother thinks the world of them.

The truth is it's an ugly world out there. My job is to prepare them for that. I have to teach them, not only to survive in this ugly, ugly world, but to thrive and rise above all the ugliness. To find the beauty hidden in the ugliness, despite what the world has to say. To accept people for who are or who they choose to be. To know the difference between encouraging and judging. To believe that if they want to make a difference, they have to start with themselves.

So, who cares if some magazine editor went a little photoshop crazy or if there are famous voices everywhere constantly telling them what they should look like. At this moment, while their minds are still growing and being molded, my face and voice are stronger in their lives than ANY image or celebrity. They see ME and hear ME more often than they do anyone else. Until they get sick of me and move out, that is...

I  may not be able to give them a lot of material things, but they have ME.

Thank you for reading. Now drop your phone or your laptop or your tablet and go be present. Go on, now!

I will do the same.

Wednesday, May 14, 2014


Hay cosas que solo una persona que crecio en medio de dos culturas sabe. Como el Spanglish que vienen siendo palabras inventadas por Latino Americanos creadas al combinar el Espanol y el Ingles. No son correctas pero son aceptadas. Son utilizadas por grandes y chicos y son usadas hasta en papeles de la escuela y el trabajo o en anuncios en la calle.

He creado una lista -just for fun and because I'm bored and bilingual..

Puchar: Empujar - Push. Ejemplo: Ve y pucha a tu hermano en el columpio!!

Kiquear: Patear -Kick. Ejemplo: Kiquea la pelota, menso!!

Mixtear: Mezclar. Combinar - Mix. Ejemplo:  No te mixtees con la chusma!

Parquear: Estacionar - Park. Ejemplo: Mira ese pendejo no se sabe parquear bien.

Chequear: Rebizar - Check. Ejemplo: ahorita te voy a chequear la tarea y si no esta terminada te voy a chingar!

Yonque- Cochinada. Basura. Junk. Ejemplo: este pinche carro es un yonque!

Troca- Camioneta. Truck. Ejemplo: Ya se volvio a chingar la troca!

Esta no es palabra pero la gente aqui asi dice:

"Al rato te llamo patras" - "I'll call you back" - quiere decir que al rato te regreso la llamada o te vuelvo a llamar.

That's all I remember for now. Seguramente me faltan muchas.

Dime las que te sepas:

Ready. Set. Go.

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Back to Blogging

You've missed me, don't lie.

Kidding, but seriously, I miss writing. It's one of the things I truly enjoy doing. It's hard to find time to do it right now, because I have four kids (five, counting my angel), including two babies, so I usually prefer to use my spare time to sleep, eat and wash off the sweat. 

As I type, I have Noah trying to close the laptop and poke random keys on my keyboard which, by the way, is missing the letter "Y" so I am forced to push this little plastic nub any time I need it. And with my foot I am rocking Ben to keep him from screaming.

Needless to say, the past couple of years have brought lots of changes. Sometimes I can't believe how much my life has changed. I'm still coping with lots of different emotions but I can honestly say I am the happiest I have ever been.

About 15 years ago, when I was I teenager and I thought I knew everything, I would have never imagined that before the age of thirty I was going to have to survive a rocky relationship, a divorce, the loss of a child, and the loss of my grandparents. I suppose I saw the latter coming. But it was still hard. I still cry every day. More on that later.....

So... after having three kids in three years it is no surprise I am about 70 lbs overweight. I've lost them before and I'll do it again, but UGH!!! what  a pain!! I'm gonna complain and mope and complain some more but it has to be done. I don't like the way my body feels or looks this way. I'm always tired and have frequent headaches and my knees HURT! I wish I could be one of those people who are big and happy, but personally, my body does not function properly at this weight. 

I know you find me fabulously fluffy, but if I expect to keep up with my posse (my four boys) I better start getting healthy.

Let me warn you I am bored AND sleep deprived so I may be updating frequently and talking a whole lotta nonsense at times.